Jangan bicara

Aku menangis juga ternyata. Mula-mula merebak di pelupuk, lalu turun satu dua butir ke pipi. Tidak yakin karena sedih atau lega. Mungkin dua-duanya. Akhirnya aku melepas semua topeng dan emosi, dan menerima semua konsekuensi, harus bisa menerima, baik dan buruk.

Aku belajar dari kesalahan masa lalu, bertekad tidak akan mengulanginya. Ternyata aku selama ini tidak sadar, kalau emosi dipendam begitu lama, dia bisa keluar dengan sedikit berontak. Jadi aku putuskan untuk membiarkannya lepas, mencari bentuknya.

Jadi aku berharap kamu tidak berbuat apapun, dan sepertiku, membiarkan emosi itu lepas & bebas.

Logika itu masih seperti kaca yang aku tengok setiap hari. Aku tidak melulu melihat emosiku. Jadi aku tahu semua akibatnya, semua yang mungkin dan tidak mungkin. Jadi jangan bicara apapun.

Just let it flow.

I want to release it.

Biarkan saja.. Please..

Kalau kamu tidak mau, biarlah.

Karena aku sudah lelah ternyata, membawa emosi ini tanpa menyadarinya..



Leiden, IBL, my bench, 11.57 CET

Konversasi dengan Robin

Tahu tidak?
Tanyaku pada seekor Robin
Yang hinggap di ambang jendela

Aku tidak peduli
Apa katanya
Apa pikirnya
Karena cinta ini
Punyaku, untuknya

Tahu tidak?
Karena aku tidak
Menyadarinya
Dia ada dan bertumbuh
Sampai waktu yang tepat
Membuatnya terlihat

Tahu tidak?
Menurutku, tidak bagus
Menyuruhnya kembali sembunyi
Setelah sekian lama dia bersedia
Tidak terlihat?

Tahu tidak?
Aku akan melepaskannya
Tidak peduli apa
Biar dia bebas terbang
Sepertimu..



Leiden, IBL, my bench, 10.57 CET


Nyoba versi Inggrisnya (harap maklum kalau salah) :


A conversation with a robin

You know what?
I asked a robin
Perch on my windowsill

I do not care
On what he says
On what he think
Because this love
Is mine, for him

Did you ever recognize it?
’cause I didn’t
That this love is there
It grow
Till the time
Make it visible

You know what?
I think it’s not good
Nor wise enough
Make it hidden
again,
After so many years
It’s been invisible

You know what?
I will release it
No matter what
So that it can freely fly
Just like you

Lalu?

Lalu apa jawabnya?


Aku masih mencari
tidak yakin pada jawab
yang terpancang
di lembar putih


Salah?
Mungkin
Jujur memang tidak selalu indah
Tapi setidaknya kali ini
aku sudah membuat dia
pada akhirnya
mengerti..


Dia
Aku
mengerti..




Leiden, IBL, my bench, 10.38 CET

Note :

Aku belum sreg sama kata-katanya. Mendadak stuck. Apa karena.. deep inside, aku mengingkarinya?
Aku ini kenapa sih? :(

Apakah masih?

Apakah aku masih mencintainya?
Aku bertanya
Pada buku-buku yang berserakan
Pada langit-langit kamar
Pada kabut yang menutupi udara

Apakah bila aku merasa
Pipiku bersemu merah saat
Dia menggodaku pertanda
Aku suka?

Apakah bila aku merasa
Hangat menjalari relung jiwa
Saat kelembutannya
Menyentuh raga pertanda
Aku suka?

Dan masih saja aku bertanya
Apakah aku mencintainya?
Entah apa jawabnya
Apakah masih bisa mencintainya?
(Tanya saja padanya)





Leiden, my room, 21.00 CET

Note :
Puisiku. Bikinnya kurang dari 1 jam. Ceritanya, mau nyaingin Mas Ersta nulis puisi. Tapi kayanya ancur deh puisiku.. :(

Kahlil Gibran's Poem

On Children


Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let our bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.



Anakmu bukan anakmu !


“Anak adalah kehidupan, mereka sekedar lahir
melaluimu tetapi bukan berasal darimu.
Walaupun bersamamu tetapi bukan milikmu,
curahkan kasih sayang tetapi bukan memaksakan pikiranmu
karena mereka dikaruniai pikirannya sendiri.


Berikan rumah untuk raganya, tetapi tidak jiwanya, karena
jiwanya milik masa mendatang, yang tak bisa kau datangi
bahkan dalam mimpi sekalipun.


Bisa saja mereka mirip dirimu, tetapi jangan pernah
menuntut mereka jadi seperti sepertimu.
Sebab kehidupan itu menuju ke depan, dan
tidak tenggelam di masa lampau.


Kaulah busur, dan anak-anakmulah anak panah yang melucur.
Sang Pemanah mahatahu sasaran bidikan keabadian.
Dia menentangmu dengan kekuasaanNya,
Hingga anak panah itu melesat, jauh serta cepat.


Meliuklah dengan suka cita dalam rentangan tangan Sang Pemanah,
Sebab Dia mengasihi anak-anak panah yang melesat laksana kilat
Sebagaimana pula dikasihi-Nya busur yang mantap”.

Puisi..

Aku iseng baca-baca lagi posting di blog-ku pas awal-awal. Jadul. Ga sengaja nemu puisi yang pernah aku tulis. Ternyata, kalau lagi mood (kali ketiban ilham entah jatuh dari mana), aku bisa juga nulis puisi.. Kaya ini :

...........


Pagi hari.
Dia datang
Aku melihatnya
berpura-pura mengacuhkannya
Dia melewatiku..
[fiuh...]


Tengah hari.
Aku mengamatinya
mendengarkannya berbicara
melihatnya tersenyum
Aku tahu tentangnya
Aku mencatatnya
dalam hatiku..


Sore hari.
Sepi
Dia tercenung
Dia dan beban hidup..


Malam hari.
Tuhan,
tidakkah dia tahu?
Aku ingin membawa separuh
beban itu
di pundakku..



(Diambil dari : http://unlikely-angel.blogspot.com/2004/12/blog-post.html)

Woman

To be sincere I have a girlfriend who is in her 60's I just was shocked to know she was so old.
Guess Who?

It's my Mom

Why are you crying, a young boy asked his Mom?
"Because I'm a woman," she told him.
"I don't understand," he said.


His Mom just hugged him and said,
"And you never will, but that's O.K.".......


Later the little boy asked his father,
"Why does Mom seem to cry for no reason?".
"All women cry for no reason," was all his Dad could say.



The little boy grew up and became a man,
still wondering why women cry.


Finally he put in a call to God and when God got back to him, he asked
"God, why do women cry so easily?"


GOD answered.... ..


"When I made woman,
I decided she had to be special.
I made her shoulders
strong enough to carry
the weight of the world, yet,
made her arms gentle enough to give comfort..

I gave her the inner strength
to endure childbirth
and the rejection
that many times will come
even from her own children.

I gave her a hardness
that allows her
to keep going and take care
of her family and friends,
even when everyone else gives up, through sickness and fatigue without complaining….

I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all
circumstances. Even when her child has hurt her badly.....

She has the very special power to make a child's boo-boo feel better and
to quell a teenager's anxieties and fears....

I gave her strength to care for her husband, despite faults
and I fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart....

I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but
sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him

unfalteringly. ...

For all of this hard work,
I also gave her a tear to shed.
It is hers to use
whenever needed and !

it is her only weakness....

When you see her cry,
tell her how much you love her, and all she does for everyone, and even though
she may still cry, you will have made her heart feel good.


She is special!

Please send this to women you know, and those with mothers, sisters, and special women in their lives.

But, also send this to men so they will understand about what a wonderful thing a woman is.



Love Your Mother Always,
And Keep Her Smiling

Menulislah Di Atas Pasir...

Ini sebuah kisah tentang dua orang sahabat karib yang sedang berjalan melintasi gurun pasir.

Di tengah perjalanan, mereka bertengkar, dan salah seorang menampar pipi temannya. Orang yang kena tampar, merasa sakit hati, tapi dengan tanpa berkata-kata, dia menulis di atas pasir : " HARI INI, SAHABAT TERBAIKKU MENAMPAR PIPIKU"

Mereka terus berjalan, sampai menemukan sebuah oasis, di mana mereka memutuskan untuk mandi. Orang yang pipinya kena tampar dan terluka hatinya, mencoba berenang namun nyaris tenggelam, dan berhasil diselamatkan oleh sahabatnya.

Ketika dia mulai siuman dan rasa takutnya sudah hilang, dia menulis di sebuah batu: " HARI INI, SAHABAT TERBAIK KU MENYELAMATKAN NYAWAKU "

Orang yang menolong dan menampar sahabatnya, bertanya : "Kenapa setelah saya melukai hatimu, kau menulisnya di atas pasir, dan sekarang kamu menulis di batu?"

Temannya sambil tersenyum menjawab : "Ketika seorang sahabat melukai kita, kita harus menulisnya diatas pasir, agar angin maaf datang berhembus dan menghapus tulisan tersebut, dan bila sesuatu yang luar biasa terjadi,kita harus memahatnya di atas batu hati kita, agar tidak bisa hilang tertiup angin."

Life is an everlasting learning, learn how to be honest to your own heart and learn to have a big opened heart to love deeply and to forgive quickly.

Footprint in The Sand..

One night a man had a dream.
He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the LORD.
Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand;
one belonging to him, and the other to the LORD.

When the last scene of his life flashed before him,
he looked back at the footprints in the sand.
He noticed that many times along
the path of his life there was only one set of footprints.
He also noticed that it happened
at the very lowest and saddest times of his life.

This really bothered him a
nd he questioned the LORD about it:

"LORD, you said that once I decided
to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way.
But I have noticed that
during the most troublesome times in my life,
there is only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why,
when I needed you most, you would leave me."

The LORD replied,
"My son, my precious child, I love you
and I would never leave you.
During your times of trial and suffering,
when you see only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you."


~~Author Unknown~~

Just an ordinary poem...

I dont know why I love you but I do,
Even though you dont seem to care.
I dont know why I care but I do,
Even though you wouldnt come see me if I was dying.
I dont know why I call you but I do,
Sometimes I just wish an "I love you" will pop up somewhere.
I dont know why I write you poems but I do,
It's not like they touch you like they do me.
I dont know why I have to explain it to you but I do,
It's not like you listening, or even understand.

Puisi untuk si kecil..

My child...,
you are the poem I dreamed of writing.
The masterpiece I longed to paint.
You are the shining star I reached.
Now, with all things, I am blessed...

So sweet..

A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty,
he said...no.

She asked him if he would want to be with her forever..
and he said no.

She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry,
and once again he replied with a no.

She had heard enough.

As she walked away, tears streaming down her face
the boy grabbed her arm and said....

You're not pretty, but you're beautiful.

I dont want to be with you forever.
I NEED to be with you forever.

And I wouldnt cry if you walked away...I'd die...

I do promise..

Promise yourself to be strong that nothing can disturb your peace mind
To talk health, happiness and prosperity to every person you meet
To make all my friends feel that there is something in them
To look the sunny side of everything and make my optimism come true
To think only the best, to work only for the best and expect only for the best
To be just enthusiastic about the success of others as I am about your own
To forget the mistakes of past and press on the greater achievement of the future
To wear cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature I meet a smile
To give so much time to the improvement of myself, that I have no time to critize others
To be too large worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear and too happy to permit the presence of trouble....

UncoNdiTioNaL loVe..

loVe is not all about receiving, but also giving.
loVe is about understanding.
loVe needs patient, prolonged patient.
uNconditionNal loVe brings happiness in an unexpected course.

loVe is indeed beautiful... in its own way...

And I... I'm still learning...
to understand loVe
to give affection instead of receiving
to show that i care by expecting nothing in return
and most importantly,
to posses uNconditioNal love in everything i do...

Puisi Poligami

Istriku...
jika engkau bumi, akulah mentari
aku menyinari kamu, kamu mengharapkan aku
Ingatlah bahtera yang kita kayuh...
mentari menyinari bumi, ah silau...
tapi, aku ingat satu hal,
bahwa bukan hanya bumi yang disinari mentari.
Jadi relakanlah aku menyinari planet lain menebar sinarku,
menyampaikan faedah adanya aku.
Karena itu sudah kodrati


jawabannya :

Suamiku......
Bila Kau memang mentari
Aku rela kau berikan sinarmu tuk planet lain
Karena mereka juga butuh sinarmu.
Dan aku pun tak kan pernah kekurangan cahayamu
Tapi bila kau hanya sebuah lilin
Janganlah bermimpi menyinari planet lain
Kamar kitapun belum sanggup kau terangi
Berkacalah pada cermin disudut sana
Di tengah remang-remang cahayamu
Lihatlah siapa dirimu, mentari atau lilin ???


he..he..he....

Kau Tidak Dapat Membayangkan Betapa Aku Menginginkan Dirimu

...
Karena sepotong kata;
cinta


__________________
(Poem by Anggoro)